God's Last Words

“Marriage: A Man Shall Leave…”

1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

 

We’ve just observed that annual ritual called “Valentine’s Day.” Today we’re going to talk about marriage. To get us started right I have several questions on wedding etiquette to ask:

 

Q: Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding? A: Not if you are the groom.
Q: How many showers is the bride supposed to have? A: At least one within a week of the wedding.
Q: What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony? A: Anything except "Tied to the Whipping Post."

 

Okay, one last quick shot before I get serious. The British have an organization that Americans should consider. There is a men's club, called Bachelors' Anonymous. It is highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.The club provides a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. Every several months members are visited by a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack who yells at them for 5 minutes.

 

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
 

The term “love” brings up all sorts of ideas in our minds and hearts. The media tend to picture love with physical desire and feelings and most often promote an equation of love with lovemaking—especially when love is the result of chemistry that bursts into passionate magic.

Most online matchmaking services market their “happily ever after” using special personality tests or compatibility pairing, and all of them brag about success rates.

Speed-dating services and companies like “It’s Just Lunch,” along with “Zoosk,”

“OurTime,”“ChristianMingle,”“SingleParentMeet.com,” “Just Farmers,” and a bunch of others promise to find love for you with “that special someone.”

eHarmony alone has more than 15 million members and Match.com has more than 21 million. One reliable source estimates that the dating industry brings in over a billion dollars in revenue each year in the U.S. alone, and the average client spends well over two hundred dollars per year to find the “right person.”

The right price you might say, if real love, is found. Romantic Love for sale.

It is interesting to note, that although the Bible does validate physical lovemaking in marriage as the purpose and design of the Creator, the concept of sex outside of marriage is never promoted in Scripture—all promiscuous, premarital, and extra- marital sex is strictly forbidden.

Biblical love is based on a much different premise: God ordained it.

Perhaps the easiest way to understand the focus that God requires in a love relationship (both in marriage and in friendship) is to note the play on words in the interaction between Jesus and Peter after the resurrection, found in John 21: 15-17.

Peter meets with Jesus on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus asked Peter if he “loves” Him. Jesus used the word agapao (Holy Love). Peter responds with phileo (Brotherly Love).They’re aren’t talking the same kind of Love at first.

The conversation goes like this:

Jesus: “Do you LOVE Me?”Peter: “Yes, Lord, You know I LIKE You.”
Jesus: “Feed My lambs.”

Jesus: “Do you LOVE Me?”Peter: “Yes, Lord, You know I LIKE You.”
Jesus: “Tend My sheep.”

Jesus: “Do you LIKE Me?”Peter: “You know that I LIKE You!”
Jesus: “Feed My sheep.”

These two words are at the heart of the human problem. God’s love—the love that God showed when He “gave His only begotten Son”—was agape love.

That kind of love is unilateral. That kind of love is a promise from the giver to the receiver unconditionally. No excuses, regrets, or exceptions. When returned, agape love produces a bond that is almost impossible to break.

Yes, the human heart is fallible and sometimes breaks a relationship established on biblical love. But God’s love never fails. Many may reject His love, but God’s love is extended to all humanity with the request that we believe that He loves us.

Human love, on the other hand, in its normal form is phileo love—love that is based on mutual fondness. That’s why the emphasis of modern dating services is on compatibility and friendship. It works...for a while.

If folks like each other and enjoy the same sort of behavior, they can get along together under normal circumstances. But when any kind of crisis erupts, disability occurs, or serious differences of opinions develop (and they will), the “like” shows its weakness because it is not “love.” The relationship suffers and dissolves.

The Bible speaks of the two pillars of the Law upon which the relationships of man with God and man with human rest.

The first pillar is called the Greatest Commandment: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matthew 22: 37). This pillar, of course, summarizes the first four of the Ten Commandments.

God is to reign—nothing is superior. God is not reproducible—there is no other likeness. God is to be reverenced—He is not “ordinary.” God is remembered—He is the Creator!

The second pillar is: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22: 39).

The neighbor has a broad application according to the second pillar: (summarized by the last six of the Ten Commandments.)

Respect authority. Protect life. Protect marriage. Respect property. Respect truth.

And lastly, reject greed.

God told us that even with the obvious emphasis on the agape love outlined in the Ten Commandments, humanity still faces the chance of divided love. God tells us that we cannot love two opposing ideas (people, lifestyles, worldviews, etc.); one or the other will dominate our heart.

Put simply, relationships with God and with other humans will either be based on a mutual fondness (phileo) or an intellectual, unilateral commitment (agape).

Perhaps the greatest test of whether love or fondness dominates our lives is examining our practice to see if we do not love what God does not love.

That boils down to how we relate to the “world.”  What is important to us.

On the positive side, “love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” This kind of love is a reflection of God’s love.

That love is easy to define, even if difficult to keep, and is found in the classic passage in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. God’s love is summed up by the following qualities:

Patient --- Kind --- Not jealous  ---  Does not brag ---  Is Not arrogant --- Does not act unbecomingly  ---  Does not seek its own  --- Is Not provoked ---  Does not think evil  ---  Does not delight in evil ---  Rejoices in truth  --- Bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. 

Individuals seeking God’s character and instructions for a successful life (that is  successful in God’s eyes) find their focus in a love for the Word of God. Our secular world is struggling to find love and falling prey to relationships based only on a physical and mutual fondness that fades with time and circumstance.

In stark contrast, God’s love stimulates good works. It causes us to honor our leaders. God’s love produces confidence and even fearlessness and a growing maturity in our ability to understand and cope with life.

God’s love enables us to love others as He has loved us.

 

Ultimately, of course, God’s love—made real and available in us through His salvation—provides confidence in His sovereign control and security in His faithful preservation. When God gives instructions for husbands to love their wives, He uses the word for agapao rather than phileo .

Agape love commits for life; phileo love falls away when the passion fades. It allows only surface sacrifice and protects self rather than the other. But God grants those with the Holy Spirit indwelling a special ability to demonstrate the powerful agape love that unreservedly sacrifices for the sake of the one loved.

It’s why God gave us the passage from Genesis 2: 24:  “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

This ordination of marriage between a man and a woman is repeated multiple times in God’s Holy Scriptures. They are: Matthew 19: 5; Mark 10: 7-8; 1 Corinthians 6: 16; Ephesians 5: 31.

There are three things that we feel manifest a minimum foundation for marriage.

First is the sanctity of human life based on our creation in the image of God and our election by God for service in His Kingdom. This leads us to respectfully affirm and sanctity every stage of human life. In honoring God as Creator Christians should always be pro-life.

 

The second is the Biblical guidelines for human sexuality: marriage as the union of one man and one woman, with no deviation. This upholds the nature of father/ mother, and husband and wife.

 

And the third is the concept of fidelity and holiness in marriage with the principle of chastity outside of marriage for the sake of the Kingdom.

 

Marriage requires work, commitment, love that endures pain and paranoia, and faith that the other person loves you too. God knew this when He ordained it.
 

Grandpa Jones was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
 
They were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."

 

A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her. He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind-hearted?"

 

The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son." "Why did you make her so good-looking?"  "So you could love her, my son." "Why did you make her such a good cook?" "So you could love her, my son."

 

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"  "So she could love you, my son."

 
Marriage is a state of mind where one person is always right and the other person is the husband! Actually marriage is where a commitment is made that no matter what happens the couple stands together against it. God knew two would be better than one and that the strengths of men and women compliment each other!

 

And lastly: Learn to understand that if you want breakfast in bed – sleep in the kitchen!

 

God blesses marriage if we let Him. Amen.